The Squid Broach (Etsy)

So you have an Octopus BRO-ch and you're saying to yourself "Damn, this is BRO-ch is super awesome! I'm getting so many ladies right now and that job interview, yeah I fucking nailed that shit!" That's pretty rad, you're living the dream. But, then this god damn squid BRO-ch comes up out of nowhere and you're like "Yo, squid!" and the squid pretty much disses you to your face. You're obviously not ready for a squid. Seriously, a squid gets more done in a day than you do in like two weeks. If you asked the squid what he did that day he'd say something like "Psssh, what time is it 3 pm? Oh I don't know I pretty much free dove down to like 30,000 feet and then bitch slapped some Sperm Whales cause I felt like it." Then you'd try to tell him about the boring ass day you had at your office and he'd be like "Naw bro! That's really super boring." Then he'd spit some ink all over your khakis and be out of there. Basically you're never going to be as rad or free spirited as a squid is because they're really rad and free spirited. But if you had this awesome BRO-ch it'd be like when you're hanging out with a dude who is cool. It's not like you're actually any cooler, but you're getting a lot of the cooler dudes leftover ladies. That's what it's like wearing the Squid BRO-ch. It's like you get to know what it's like to be awesome. Speaking of awesome, this squid has a totally "metal" clasp that will keep him on securely affixed to your shirt when you're getting into bar brawls. I've also added some bad ass pink spots that will hypnotize the ladies. After they are hypnotized, that's your business. Also, you'll notice that the quality of the photos are basically way shitty, but if you think that then you're way wrong because you're not "artsy". The proper phrasing that adequately describes the quality of the images is "lo-fi." That's because squid aren't mainstream sell outs to corporate photography. Squid are way hipster.